Friendship + Loss

For as long as I can remember I’ve had amazing friends. Through each stage of life we gain and often lose friendships as we begin to establish ourselves on our own path. My friend Leah has been my best friend since fourth grade and is most definitely my truest and best friend to date. Above is a picture from my wedding day, we had SO much fun getting ready together. I’m constantly reflecting on the choices I have made throughout my life, blame it on the teacher in me, and I am always drawn to friendships. Why did the friendship fizzle? Was it me? Them? Both?? I could think of a hundred different situations and scenarios about what went wrong but none seem to be a finite breaking point. I was doing some research on the subject, as I was planning to write this post, and found some interesting articles written by practicing psychologists. I really dug deep for this one guys - get ready!!

As I’ve gotten older, I have inevitably had to take on more and more responsibilities, as does any contributing human being in our society. I remember in high school the only real responsibility I had was working at a coffee shop 2 or 3 times a week and doing well in school. My biggest worries at 16 were wearing the right thing to school, impressing my crush to whom I was nonexistent, and covering up the amazing gift of teenage acne. Like I said, not much was going on in the responsibility department. Who could have time for that when you have a senior boy (and I say boy because there are no men in high school, am I right ladies?) that will not quit taking up every single second of your imaginative mind? All that to say, most 16 year old girls were in the same boat as me, therefore we could easily relate to each other and form connections. I had a large group of friends during that time and we spent every weekend together; however, this honeymoon started to end about two years later.

As I started college my priorities started to shift, I didn’t have as much time for friends, I really matured, and I began dating Jay. I didn’t know it then, but I learned a lot about friendships from this period of my life.

Here’s what I learned:

People change over time. Not only was I changing who I was but my friends were changing, or not changing, around me. I started to have different views than some of my closest friends and that was really scary. It was a time in my life where I felt so alone while still being surrounded by so many. That is a really difficult and sometimes painful time to look back on because I lost some amazing friends. Friends that I shared years of my teenage life and made wonderful memories. It does make me sad to think about that loss, but I am a firm believer that everything in your life happens for a reason. I have to believe that without that loss I would not have gained the good that I have in my life now. Growing out of friendships is normal, and although immensely difficult, we have to accept it and move on. Like any relationship that ends time will help it heal.

Expectations are not always clear. In one article I read the author Julie Beck said, “Friendships are unique relationships because unlike family relationships, we choose to enter them. And unlike voluntary bonds, like marriage and romantic relationships, they lack a form of structure.” When you’re married you talk with your spouse everyday, you ask questions about their well being, you make time for them, and your relationship evolves together. When you enter a marriage you take vows to do these things, but there are no vows in a friendship. When I was 18 I expected my friends to come with me to parties, go shopping with me at the drop of a hat, or catch a 10:30 movie on a Thursday night. My expectations quickly changed as I got older. I wanted friends who supported my relationship with Jay, consoled me when I couldn’t find a job, or to have a glass of wine and talk about our love life. When my friends couldn’t fulfill those expectations I started to grow closer to other amazing women who were more like minded. I’m sure for my friends that I lost, I was no longer fulfilling their expectations of what our friendship meant to them. There are grey areas in friendship and sometimes you can come out the other side still holding on but other times you come out empty handed.  

I wrote all of this to say that friendship is a balance of holding on when things are good and letting go even when you don’t want to. I have the most amazing friends from all walks of life. I have friends who I’ve known for years, new friends who feel like old friends, and friends that I haven't met yet but I know are out there. Friendships are special bonds and I cherish every past, current, and future friendship I have. I hope this helps you let go of any past relationships that have been causing you heartache. Xoxo  

Best Work Pants

For us teachers, it's back to reality - school is officially in full swing! It’s always a big adjustment getting back to work but I always look forward to playing dress up :) This summer I caught a lot of good sales and was able to stock up on some great work pants! Since I work in a more casual environment, a lot of the pants I’m featuring are more business casual but can most definitely be dressed up. I tend to over dress, but I live by the motto dress for the job you want, not the job you have! Since I am a teacher I am constantly sitting on the floor, walking or even running around, so you know these pants have passed the comfort test!

 

My favorite of all are these pants from The Loft. I have them in three colors and each of them are a different fabric. The green was my first pair I purchased last fall. It is similar to a cotton pant and perfect for the transition into cooler months. The pink pair I purchased this past spring and it is perfect to wear right now. It is a cotton material as well but the fabric is so light. I recently purchased the black pair during a Loft flash sale on all pants (I went a little crazy - sorry wallet!). These are definitely for the cooler months because this fabric is much more thick than the other two. I love how flattering this style is and how versatile it can be. Each season they’ve come out with a new color or style of this pant, so I am hopeful to purchase more for the Fall! The length is perfect to wear with flats or heels. I’m 5’4 and it hits just at my ankle.

Another pair from The Loft that I am loving are these skinny ankle pants. These black pants are super flattering and suck everything in. They are quite fitted, so if you don’t like that look these pants are not for you. I love that these hit right above my ankle so they look phenomenal with flats which are basically all I wear to work during the fall. These pants also come in blue!

Last, but certainly not least, are these pants from The Gap. Mine are over a year old so they don’t have this exact style, but the pants at the link are very similar. I love that these are chinos because they are light and have a bit of a looser fit. These are perfect for days when I know I will be on the go or warm days when I don’t want clothing sticking to me. I also love The Gap for colored denim, which I often wear to work. I got rid of a lot of my denim this past summer because I had worn right through them; so I will be on the hunt for a good sale to stock back up!

What are your favorite work pants? I’d love some new recommendations!! Stay beautiful. Xoxo

Happiness vs. Suffering

After a much needed vacation, I am back! Jay and I had a wonderful time eating our way through Peru; the food was to die for, I am missing it daily. I’m planning on doing a travel guide to Macchu Picchu, hopefully this week! We had long flights so I was able to listen to lots of podcasts and catch up on some good books. One podcast that particularly stuck with me was the Armchair Expert featuring Kristen Bell. If you follow her on instagram you know that she is an advocate for women and a supporter for many amazing causes. She’s an overall positive person and explained how and why during her interview on the podcast. Kristen says that everyday we have a choice between happiness and suffering, we choose how to respond to a situation which inevitably decides our mood thereafter.

I thought about this concept for a long time and it’s still resonating with me more than a week later. Everyday we make choices, whether we are aware of them or not. Orange juice or coffee for breakfast? Blue or black pants for work? Send the text or not? All day we make choices, so of course it makes sense that in any given scenario we can choose happiness or suffering. With any negative situation there has got to be some kind of positive light. If not, you will suffer and you will be miserable.

I’ll be the first one to admit that I compare myself, my things, my life to everyone. I can’t help it and it does cause me suffering. After listening to Kristen, I’m trying to think of something positive in each situation where I start to compare myself to someone. Just this morning as I was sitting in my 95 degree classroom with no air conditioning, I started to think about all the people in air conditioned rooms and I got jealous. I was miserable and I was suffering. I started to shift my mindset and think of all the reasons I was fortunate to be sitting in that hot, sweaty, humid classroom. One I have a job, two I have a job that I love, and three I have a job that I am extremely good at. All those people I am envious of in air conditioned spaces might not be able to say the same things. For those reasons I was choosing to be happy.

We only get one life to live. We can choose to be miserable, compare ourselves to others, be envious of the things we don’t have, but where does that get us? I am choosing to be happy. Surround yourself with people that have like minds and help others when you can. This past weekend I volunteered at an event sponsored by Dollar Giving, a nonprofit organization that supports local communities. The event was in downtown Hartford and I was quite anxious driving through traffic and finding my way through the city. At that moment when I started to feel uncomfortable, I thought about the people I would be helping that night and how much joy they would be feeling. Their happiness in turn caused mine. I had a wonderful time and was so glad I did it, and will definitely be on the lookout to do some more volunteer work. Being kind and bringing joy to others is the best way to choose happiness. It’s funny that I teach this to 7 and 8 year olds but it is still relevant to adults each and everyday.

So what will you do to choose to be happy today? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Xoxo

Essential Oils for Travel

I’m in vacation mode, and currently getting ready for our flight! I am beyond excited, but also a little nervous about the flight. I’m not sure why, I really don’t mind flying but the anxiety starts to set in about a day before. I start thinking about the take off, the turbulence, and the trips to the bathroom. Anyone else hate using those tiny things?!

The first time I flew - at 21 I might add - I was really nervous. Halfway through the flight I had to pee so bad because I drank an extra large coffee and downed a ton of water right before we boarded - smart! I finally got the courage to stand up and use the bathroom. As soon as I shut the door and began to think it wasn’t so bad, the seatbelt light turned on!! I was so freaked out!! I ran back to my seat, palms sweating, praying to the Lord I could get my seatbelt on before...before what I have no idea- you know in those situations you just think irrational thoughts. Anyways, I survived and continued to fly after that. I know once I get comfortable in my seat, all will be well.

I thought I would share some essential oils I am bringing on my trip to help with any pain, relaxation, and keeping the immune system healthy. I swear by doTERRA oils, and although they are pricey, they are all therapeutic grade high quality oils - not all oils are made the same. Just be aware when you’re in the market!

Relaxation - Lavender & Serenity

Lavender is my go to oil for basically everything. Can’t sleep? Lavender. Feeling anxious? Lavender. Restless? Lavender. Got a rash? Lavender. The list could go on and on but I think you get the point. I like to use lavender if I can’t sleep at night or when I am feeling worked up. It has such a nice relaxing smell. Serenity is a blended oil. This blend is specific to relaxation and lessening the feelings of tension. I know I’ll be using this right before I get on my flight. This oil has a more warm floral scent.

Pain - Deep Blue

This is definitely a more expensive oil but it is my absolute favorite. This oil has a minty scent. I had this in a 15 mL bottle and went through it in about a year, you only need a drop or two when using these oils. This time I opted to purchase the roller ball type because of the way I use it. It’s perfect for rubbing on sore areas of the body and it gets cool on the skin. I wanted to bring this on our trip because we will be doing a lot of walking!

Health - On Guard

On Guard is another favorite oil of mine and I am almost out! I will be repurchasing before school starts as to avoid all those germs! This oil has a warm fall scent, similar to cinnamon! Every single time I start to get a sore throat or sniffle, I rub this on my feet, neck, and temples and 9 times out of 10 I do not get sick. This stuff is a miracle in a bottle. Being on a plane for 6+ hours means lots of people, germs, and recycled air. I will be sure to use this before I get on and as soon as I get off!

I hope this helps as you think about essential oils for travel. Would you want to learn more about how I use my essential oils? Comment below! Stay healthy! Xoxo

My Current Wishlist

Happy Friday! I am so happy the week is over and it’s the weekend! Any good plans? Jay and I are prepping for our trip, I am beyond excited!! Today I wanted to share an updated wish list, some of which is inspired by Fall. With the summer coming to an end, my mind is now shifting to workwear and play for the cooler months ahead.

Be a Better You - Today!

Happy Thursday girlfriends. Recently I lost a friend, quite unexpectedly, and it really made me do some self reflecting. It made me think about how kind, selfless, and positive this friend was and how much of an impact she made on those around her. I realized I want to have those same qualities, and while some might say I do, I know I can always get better; be more kind, more selfless, and more positive.

As a society I think we are quick to judge others, cast away people or things that are different, and expect that when we are kind to others they will be kind back. Today I challenge you to push back on those norms. Say hi to people as you’re walking through the grocery store, embrace the differences that people have, and give kindness to others who might not return it. Being kind is so powerful and your kindness could help turn someone’s day around, whether you know it or not.

Maybe you’re already an amazing selfless, kind, happy person; great, I am so happy for you! I know a few people like that and I strive to be like them. My Pepe is probably my biggest role model for those reasons. He’s the most selfless, kind, forgiving, giving, loving, positive person I know and probably will ever know. My husband made a comment in the car the other day- If I could be half the man he is I would be lucky-  it brought a tear to my eye. Anyone who has had the blessing of having Pepe in their life would 100% agree that he is a rare find. I wanted to share five things you could do today to make a step towards being a better you.

The Styled Collection Review

Recently I purchased this Luxe Beauty Case from The Styled Collection. I had heard about this bag through some other bloggers and I knew I wanted to try it. I always travel with about 3-5 different cosmetic bags, all with their own purpose. It is a pain trying to fit them all in a suitcase, let alone an overnight bag! I went on an overnight with my best gal pal and I got to try this bag out. It held a lot of makeup, skincare, and haircare. Here are my thoughts on the Luxe Beauty Case.

Pros:

You can see everything- this is my favorite feature about this product. The clear plastic lets you see through the bag so you don’t have to dig around to find what you want!

Removable compartments- this comes with a square case to fit small items but it can also be removed (as shown in pictures). The pockets that I put my brushes and hair products in are also removable. They can be snapped in with the buttons or you can remove just one to create a larger pocket.

Gold details- this is everything! The gold hardwear make it look more high end and classy.

Durable+Large- the plastic is really thick which makes it feel tough. I packed this with so much when I went away last weekend and it didn't get stretched out or tear. I love how large it is (8” tall 9” width 5.5” diameter) because it can fit full size products that you want to travel with.

Cons:

Price- this is the only con thus far. This retails for $88 - yikes! I got it on sale and with a coupon. I went back and forth about getting this product but I knew I would get good use out of it with our upcoming trips. The good part about The Styled Collection website is that if you enter your email you can get a percentage off of your purchase.

Next week we are heading on our last vacation of the summer. I can’t believe how fast it flew by! I’m really excited about our next destination - Peru! Are you going anywhere else this summer? Leave a comment below! Stay beautiful! Xoxo

Makeup Tips

Happy Monday gals! I hope your weekend left you feeling relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready for the work week. My sister is coming to spend a few days with us this week and I am so excited to have her. One of our favorite things to do is play with makeup or as she calls it makeover. If you’re new around here you may not know I have a younger sister - age 9. As you can assume there is a big age gap but we always have the most fun together. I know we will be doing some makeovers this week so I am preparing my makeup for that - i.e. hiding the expensive stuff. LOL.

Today I thought I would share a few tips for the everyday girl on how to enhance your look without spending a ton of time doing it. The biggest misconception that I hear about wearing makeup is that it takes too much time. I would tend to disagree. With the right products, tools, and knowledge, you can whip out your makeup in 10 minutes or less.

Tip #1: Prime before you apply

The most frequent question I get is how do you get your makeup to stay all day? My answer is always, use a primer. I have tried multiple primers but there are two that I absolutely would recommend and adore. The first is this one by Becca. I can’t rave about this product enough, especially if you like a dewy look. This primer will have you glowing from within even before you apply any makeup. The next primer is this primer by L’Oreal. It has a similar effect as the primer by Becca, but for a more affordable price. Both leave your skin feeling soft and slightly tacky, perfect for applying the rest of your makeup. I apply a primer with my fingers so this is a quick and easy step.

Tip #2: Don’t underestimate the power of a good concealer

I’m not saying you need to spend a lot of money to get a good concealer but this concealer by Tarte, although pricey, is by far one of the best. I use shade light sand. This concealer will leave your under eyes bright and light and like you have slept on a bed of clouds for 12 straight hours. I love the applicator on the wand and the amount of product in the tube. I recommend blending it out with a damp beauty sponge for the best result. I love this one by Real Techniques.  

Tip #3: Add some color to your face

Blush, bronzer, and highlight. These will add dimension and life back into your face. If you can’t wake up looking like Blake Lively (because we can all agree she is stunning), why not fake it till you make it? Popping on some blush takes only a matter of seconds, you can see my favorites here, here and here. A little bit of bronzer adds dimension to the face as well as a healthy glow. My favorite is the Butter Bronzer by Physicians Formula. It smells like summer and is super buildable so you can use as much or little as you like. I suggest applying to your hairline, jaw, and right below where you would apply blush to define your cheekbones. Lastly, I can’t say enough about using highlighter. It adds a glow unlike any other. You can see my favorites in this post.  

Those are my quick and easy makeup tips. Would you want a full tutorial on makeup in under 10 minutes? Leave me a comment below! Stay beautiful! Xoxo

Banana Protein Pancakes

On a recent trip to Costco I picked up this protein powder. I had never really used protein powder before but I wanted to try to incorporate it into healthy snacks and shakes. I can’t compare the flavor to other protein but I can tell you that this one is delicious. I picked up the vanilla but it also comes in chocolate.

I wanted to try this protein in our pancakes. I usually make pancakes or waffles on the weekends, but by no means are they healthy! I have to tell you I was a bit skeptical and, if I am being honest, I wasn’t expecting much from these pancakes. The first time I made them, I used protein powder, oats, and water; that’s it! They were really filling but the only thing I could taste was the vanilla from the protein powder.

This time I wanted to try adding a mashed banana for a more sweet bite, and boy did that do the trick! The texture is unlike a regular fluffy pancake because it has no eggs or flour. It is a bit more mushy but not in a bad way. You have to try them yourself! I topped mine with freshly sliced strawberries and maple syrup. These kept me full for hours!

I am looking for some protein bars or I can make at home. Any good recipes you can share? Leave a comment below! Stay healthy! Xoxo

Banana Protein Pancakes

Printable Recipe

1 large mashed banana

½ cup oats

½ to ¾ cup water

1 scoop protein powder

¼ tsp cinnamon

¼ tsp baking powder

1. Add all ingredients to a blender.

2. Blend until well combined. If batter is too thick, add one tablespoon of water at a time until it gets to the right consistency. You want the batter to be a bit runny and not chunky.  

3. Pour about ¼ cup of batter onto a hot and greased pan

4. Cook until the batter starts to bubble (about 3-4 minutes) then flip

5. Top with fresh fruit, yogurt, or maple syrup to enjoy!

Nighttime Skincare Routine

This is my first work free week of the summer and I am thoroughly enjoying it. Yesterday I ran some errands, cleaned the house, and got myself organized for the week. I love having a routine, it really helps me be more productive and on task. Speaking of routines, I have an easy nighttime skincare routine. I can honestly say I started to notice a difference in my skin about a week after I consistently stuck to this routine. If you don’t have a skincare routine or need to step up your game, my routine is a great place to start.

Cleanse or Exfoliate

I cleanse my face every night, no matter what. Even if I am out late I make it a priority to clean my face before bed. You know I have a new obsession with Beautycounter and I just started using their cream cleanser which leaves my skin squeaky clean without feeling dry. Every other night I like to cleanse with an exfoliator. This helps clear away dull or dry skin. If you have more sensitive skin, I would recommend only doing this once or twice a week. I love this exfoliator because it is less abrasive and smells amazing!

Tone

Up until about a year ago I was skipping this step. I didn’t see the need to use a toner, mainly because I didn’t see the benefits. I thought of toner as the step that burns the skin to the point where you can’t keep your eyes open {thanks to Proactiv and my teenage acne prone skin}. I decided to give it another chance and I am so glad I did. I’ve been using this toner for about 6 months and I love it! It has minimal tingle and gets rid of any leftover dirt stuck in the pores. When I exfoliate I like to use this toner. Let it dry for a few minutes before moving on to the next step.

Face Oil

If you take nothing away from this post at least try this, cleanse and use a face oil! I started using a face oil a few months before I got married and I am telling you ladies it gave my skin the best glow. I snagged an argan oil from TJMaxx and used it on my face every single night. I remember my best friend telling me that I was glowing and to keep doing what I was doing. It gives your face an extreme amount of moisture and refreshes the skin. Currently I am using this oil and I am living for it!

Moisturize

To keep that face oil in place I like to seal it in with a moisturizer. I have tried so many moisturizers but I am currently using this one. I will do a post about moisturizer during one of my steal vs. splurge series! I tend to have more dry skin so I need a moisturizer that is heavy and thick without feeling like it - is that too much to ask for?! This one really does the trick!

Under Eye Cream

Even though I am in my mid twenties {or is late twenties now that I am 26? Yikes!} I want to be proactive when it comes to fine lines and wrinkles. I started using an under eye cream a few years ago and have gone through many since then. I am loving this one because it is so light and really hydrates the undereyes. It’s important to keep your under eyes hydrated. It will help them to look smooth under concealer and bright all day.

Spot Check

No matter how hard I try to keep my skin healthy and blemish free, there’s always a few friends who like to join the party each month. For this I use a little bit of this Tula exfoliating mask and dab it onto the problem area. This really dries out the blemish and decreases the size overnight. I highly recommend it!

I hope this helps on your journey to beautiful skin! Would you be interested in a morning skincare routine? Leave a comment below! Stay beautiful! xoxo